Today would have been my Mother’s 88th birthday and even though I know she is not here I find myself still wanting to wish her a ‘happy birthday’…so Happy Birthday Mum:):) xox
So, as a writer-researcher-student I find myself in an interesting place. At first I wondered how I was ever going to ‘do’ reflexiveness. And now, of course, I’ve seen the light. How so you ask?
Well…it’s like this…firstly, I am working on an essay which is now in a ‘second’ draft form so I think it has possibilities…and this morning I will also be working on updating my research proposal…and guess what?…the section I have to complete is all about the research methodologies for creative practice projects. Again, I am working on the second draft of this update and so I do have something to play with. But what is interesting is that I have been away from the draft novel for a few weeks now…may be it’s a few months…anyway, I am getting anxious. I want to get back to it as fast as I can but there are other considerations that I have to meet. No fuss, that’s how it is…it is the balance between being a writer and a student.
Now to the second point about reflexiveness…I became aware yesterday that I my whole existence is built around ‘being reflexive’ every day…I live my project and so as I do my normal chores around the house…well one has to eat, and shower, and I can’t not walk Dougal doggie…well as I work I spend most of my ‘mind-time’ thinking about what I am working on.
So…back to yesterday…I was working on the Literature Review and writing about Irish Studies readings. As part of this process I have read a great article by Prof Ian McBride…he writes about Irish historians and their varying approaches and as my project is premised on Hayden White’s argument about the ‘practical’ past I absorbed every word in McBride’s journal article (“The Shadow of the Gunman: Irish Historians and the IRA” Journal of Contemporary History 46 (3) 686-710). After I read the article I spent some time considering how I would approach the subject of Irish historians in the research proposal. Well the decision I made is at this point is ‘not at all’. I have to be relevant in my writing and I am not actually studying or writing about Irish historians…however…of course they will be covered in some detail in the exegesis. Why there and not the research proposal? Well my thinking is that – from my research so far, I haven’t been able to find much on Irish historians arguing/agreeing with Hayden White’s theories -or even anything much on what they think of his oeuvre (my fav word at the moment).
Of course…as everything is in draft form at the moment…including me…this all might change in the not too distant future:):)